The Book of Love by Fionnuala Kearney

How many times before have I written relationships are hard. That they take work and not every day is a walk in the park. I believe the majority of relationships break down due to lack of communication. Not the day to day stuff but the big stuff that you are afraid if you talk about it, it will rock the boat or the thing that starts of small but grows and grows until it becomes the elephant in the room but you are not sure now how to tackle it.

An element any relationship needs to survive is trust. But how can you trust if you do not talk and discuss these fears regardless of how irrational they are in your mind. So what if there was a way to talk to say how you really feel without having to at the time look that person in the eye.

On their wedding day, Erin and Dom were gifted ‘The Book of Love’ from Erin’s father with the words “What am I? I am The Book of Love, The pages of truth with its light and shade. I am Love, And if real, I will never fade.”

Initially Erin scoffed at the idea but as time went by The Book of Love became Erin and Dom’s saviour. It gave them the opportunity to talk about the big stuff and the hard stuff. The stuff they could not bring themselves to say face to face.

Like all relationships Erin and Dom’s relationship was not a fairy tale, in fact some of the things they went through you would not wish on your worst enemy but somehow they worked through it and used The Book of Love as their place to communicate when it was too hard but the main thing was they never stopped communicating. And maybe this is what kept their marriage so strong.

I am a Sagittarius, so pretty stubborn but I also wear my heart on my sleeve. I probably love too hard and am afraid to give up. I hate arguing but love a good debate. I do not believe in silence when things are hard and I cannot abide ghosting. So as I lay in bed writing this blog I do wonder if I am doing the right thing or am I being stubborn!! Do I need the Book of Love to communicate or do I need to have those conversations. Who knows, but watch this space.

“Erin and Dom, your mother and I used to do this. I’d swear it rescued us from many sticky times so this is a ‘borrowed’ idea for your gift. I hope you like it – we did – to talk to one anotherto write down whatever it is you can’t bring yourself to say. In years to come, this book will be a place where you’ll look back and read about the things you were possibly to young or naïve to understand. Only two rules – First, don’t do it too often, it’s a route to talking about the difficult things, not the only place to mention them. And second, when you write something, start and end it with love, like ‘My dearest Erin/Dom’ etc. and always, ALWAYS end it with a reminder to each other that you love each other and why e.g. I love you because…”

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