“There’s only one thing better than illicit sex – illicit chocolate”
And isn’t that the truth. As many of you will know by now I am a mum of a six year old sassy lady which means when she has gone to bed (which very often is not before 9pm) when my time becomes my time there is nothing I love more than sitting down with my book and that bar of chocolate I have been storing in the fridge all day. That first piece as it melts on your tongue and you can feel the sweet sugar around your mouth. That moment of peace where all the stresses of your day can disappear.
As for the illicit sex; well to be honest I would probably choose the chocolate. Although I wouldn’t say no to the sex either although after being out the game so long I am not sure if that is a good choice or not.
“hmmm, a man or chocolate – put it this way, you’ll never be sat around waiting for a bar of chocolate to ring you.”
And that it is it right there…you put yourself back out there and it is bloody scary. I remember the times you went out, you saw someone you liked, you swapped numbers and you went from there. The difference then was I was in my 20’s and didn’t really give a shit. Now it’s dating apps and swiping left or right. Once you have ‘matched’ do you wait for them to message or because it is the 21st century can a woman make the first move?! Then the question arises of what do you talk about? Do you lay your cards on the table from the beginning – “sorry mate but I don’t want anymore kids and marriage is a massive no no!” Before you know it you are a neurotic mess and quite happy sitting in your fleecy pyjamas with your bar of chocolate.
“When you buy chocolate you’re buying yourself a new best friend.”
Amber has been celibate for 18 months and it has suited her just fine. She has her career, her routine on a Saturday morning of duvet and chocolate and she has her best friend Jen so why when Greg the man she initially thought was a tart slept with her did her world turn on its axis. This was all wrong, Greg was all wrong. He was too perfect and he was their friend. Well technically he was Jen’s partner Matt’s best friend but somewhere down the line Amber and Gregg became friends and she had bailed him out of more situations then she could remember. But now Greg wasn’t tart Greg, this Greg was her Greg caring and sensitive. The man she could tell her secrets to and who would tell her fairy tales when she couldn’t sleep. But then there was the issues of Jen and how it would affect their relationship if she found out that Amber and Greg were sleeping together.
“The reason I was single and celibate, the reason I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go out with Greg, the reason I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go out with anyone was because I was insane at the start of relationships.”
Amber wants to tell Jen, they are best friends but can she risk loosing everything if her and Greg don’t work. To top it all off Amber then finds out that Greg made a pass at Jen or did he. Now Amber’s safe world of chocolate and duvets is upside down. She has a man with whom she cares for and has amazing sex and she has her best friend claiming that Greg really is the tart she thought he was. So more than anything what Amber needs is a chocolate run.
“Love? it’s only chocolate without the calories.”
So in all this confusion do we pick the chocolate or the sex? Well the jury is still out on that one but if I ever get as far as making that decision I will let you know!!
“I’d try therapy if chocolate wasn’t quicker and sweeter.”