Chapatti or Chips by Nisha Minhas

What can you do when the man you love is a womaniser? Can you change him? Can you make him change his ways and make him fall in love with you?

More to the point if you know what he is like why can’t you stop loving him? Why can’t you stop thinking about his gorgeous eyes (grey), his ripped six pack (hmm not quite) or the size of his manhood (will keep you posted on that one)?

Naina and Dave were friends…good friends. When the friendship started Dave never imagined 3 weeks in that he still wouldn’t have shagged her and Naina never expected to fall for a man whose favourite sound in the world was the sound of a woman’s knickers falling down! But the friendship worked and developed over a love of apple pie and no I am not talking about apple pie being used in the same way as in American Pie.

The flaw in all of this was Naina was Indian and being Indian meant following very specific Indian rules, including no sex before marriage, no friendships with white men and definitely no sex with white men at any given time (or blow jobs behind the back of the pub!)

But Dave was her friend and over time became more in Naina’s eyes while Dave was busy working his way through the women of Milton Keynes.

Being Indian I get it; although my parents weren’t as strict as no friendships with white men I do remember the time 2 white male friends knocked on my door one evening and as we stood chatting about school my granny (god rest her soul) almost had a coronary and by that night had tried to convince my dad I was in a relationship and was going to run away and bring shame to the family. The irony being both males lived in the same road as me so technically I wouldn’t be running very far. Or the time I told my parents I was going for a night out in town only to end up in Liverpool…that definitely didn’t go down very well.

I am now a mum and like all mums I worry…will she be happy? Will she have friends (male and female)? And yes the proud Indian part of me wants her to grow up understanding Indian values and her heritage. Saying that growing up in Britain means being proud of that too and therefore if she decides to bring a Dave home (preferably the non womaniser kind) then why not?!

Times change along with views but my advice to my girl and any other young woman who may sometimes feel like they are having an identity crisis is be proud of who you are. You can be English you with dresses that would give Aunty a mild heart attack and still be Indian you who can pull off a sari like a Bollywood actress.

I don’t think it is a question of Chapatti or Chips anymore but a statement of Chapatti and Chips and for me that works fine.

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